ran the show on my own

I was so proud of me today so this is my written pat on the back. Had to cover for our front of house manager at work as she is in Quebec at a brothers wedding. I was nervous as the show starting on time, getting everyone in and so forth was depending on me, now I have done worse as I was a manager at mcdonalds but still it was a new job and the first time i was on my own at it so I was proud as everything went off without a hitch. the nice thing was that it was only a 67 person house so it wasnt as bad as it could have been for sure. Other than that nothing really new to report. IT was funny and weird all at the same time tonight as Les showed up in the poker room online that I was playing in and we are still on " quiet time" as I am calling it. so we played poker for a bit and kathy was in there too which was cool, we didnt talk but he didnt leave the room right away either. I choose to take this as a good thing. lol.
I have been thinking alot about what the doc said yesterday, it makes it easier for me to understand where les is at and where I am at when I look at things the way that she said. I have become the controller and for lack of better words the abuser, I dont want to be that anymore but I understand where les is at cuase I have been there too. THis makes it much easier for me to give him the space that he needs. I just hope I can make him understand that I get it, I was so in the mind set of being the victim for so long I didnt get that I was making him the victim. nothing makes ya feel shittier than realizing that you did what you thought was the worst thing in the world when it was done to you to the person that you love most in the world...........nothing. So I can only go forward, I have decided that I will do what I can now to make it right and pray that he can give it another whirl, whatever happends I can only be better from here to deal with this all.